May 04, 2008
The burden of happiness
And suddenly, I realised what a burden happiness really can be.
Along with that realisation, I seemed to gain invaluable empathy into how Desmond and Kay might have felt, the burden of happiness that caused them to want to break free. From me.
Because they knew I really only wanted them to be happy in our relationship. There was so much, a lot, that I was capable of doing or not doing just so to ensure the harmony and happiness in our relationships. And I did.
But to be the reason for someone else's happiness is a burden. I used to think it's a bliss; that I would be so lucky if someone made me the reason for happiness, the motivation behind every smile.
Only I found out it's not true.
Certain people cannot handle this. Because we are not selfish. Desmond, Kay and I. Even GQ. We are all not selfish. Or are we so selfish that we can't spare the effort to make another person's day?
Maybe we are suited for depression. Because depression is only about ourselves, alone. Depression is about withdrawal. It's totally in line with being self-indulgent. Because we are not selfish, just very self-indulgent?
I don't know. This is going too far.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:59